Tech Giant Unveils Revolutionary 'Auto-Sleep' Feature to Help Workers Catch Z's During Marathon Zoom Calls
In a bid to address the mounting sleep deprivation crisis among overworked employees, tech behemoth Megasoft has announced a groundbreaking 'Auto-Sleep' feature for its ubiquitous video conferencing app, SnoozeTeams. CEO Marla Davison revealed the innovation at a virtual press briefing while subtly nodding off herself.
'We've been monitoring the sleepless suffering of our user base,' Davison sleepily stated, 'and we believe it's time we turn these endless meetings into a rejuvenating experience.' The new update boasts an AI-driven Nap Time Manager that identifies when participants are approaching REM sleep and automatically mutes their microphones while playing soothing white noise.
The most lauded feature among beta testers is the 'Power Nap Playlist,' which lets users drift off to the tranquil sounds of corporate jargon interspersed with seagulls at the beach. 'It's like being at a seaside strategy meeting,' said one groggy project manager.
To make the transition seamless, the app's camera cleverly loops pre-recorded footage of users looking attentive. According to lead developer, Jordan Dozer, this autonomous feature ensures bosses will never suspect a siesta. 'Our algorithms have perfected the art of the synthetic nod and occasional eyebrow furrow,' he said, chuckling.
Though there are concerns about misuse, Megasoft assures that the Auto-Sleep's Productivity Radar will sound an alarm whenever discussion points remotely resembling 'synergy' or 'paradigm shift' are detected, putting users back to sleep instantly. 'It's all about striking a balance between rest and waking nightmares,' added Davison.
At publishing time, the team at Megasoft has received enthusiastic feedback from insomniac telecommuters, with some requesting a similar feature for their in-laws' Zoom gatherings.
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