Tech Company Invents App That Reminds You to Charge Your Phone After It Dies

In a groundbreaking yet shockingly redundant move, the tech world was shaken today with the release of the new app 'Battery' by startup company ZappTech. This revolutionary app promises to notify users to charge their phone – right after it dies. CEO Bob Plugger announced the app at a highly-anticipated press conference where he emphatically explained, 'People need to manage their battery life better. What better way to do so than getting notified after the critical moment has already passed?'

Excitement—and confusion—filled the room as reporters received free trials of 'Battery,' only to watch helplessly as their phones died and notifications arrived seconds too late. One bewildered tech journalist commented, 'It's like having fire insurance that activates after your house burns down. Brilliantly useless!'

Early adopters of the app have left reviews ranging from 'I got this app just to see if it was a joke' to 'Now I get twice as annoyed whenever my phone dies. Thanks, ZappTech!' The app boasts a user-friendly interface that requires an initial five-minute tutorial, which unfortunately can only be accessed with a fully charged phone.

However, ZappTech isn't stopping at just one marvelously unnecessary feature. The roadmap for future updates includes an alert that informs users they missed an important call while their phone was dead, and a 'historical battery usage' graph that charts all the times their phone died since installing the app. Critics argue that a simpler solution might be to just, you know, charge your phone regularly—but Plugger vehemently defends his creation, calling it 'a glimpse into a better, posthumous notification era.'

The app has already made headlines for raking in venture capital from investors who apparently didn't read the product summary. 'Battery' is currently available for the wallet-draining price of $9.99, but for those who act now, ZappTech is offering a special deal: download and receive a free extra notification when it fails to notify you the first time.

At publishing time, users everywhere were frantically searching for charging cables while reading a notification on their other devices that their phones had died.