Tech CEO Adopts AI to Replace Board of Directors, Cites 'More Logical Arguments' in Meetings

In a move that has left Silicon Valley speechless, one visionary (read: audacious) tech CEO has decided to replace his entire board of directors with a state-of-the-art AI system. 'The AI makes much more sense than Bob ever did,' said the CEO, referring to Bob, the former head of marketing who had a reputation for suggesting 'out of the box' ideas like the company’s ill-fated rebranding to 'SynergyTechBeam360'.

Employees have reportedly noticed a shift in the atmosphere during board meetings. 'It used to be that every decision took hours. Now it’s like playing 20 questions with Siri, but somehow the company is thriving,' said one anonymous insider. The weekly board meetings now include riveting discussions about revenue streams, machine learning algorithms, and occasionally, the AI’s existential queries about human emotions.

When asked about the decision, the CEO mentioned that his inspiration came from watching a late-night infomercial. 'They said their AI could get stains out of carpets and improve ROI by 200%. Seemed like a no-brainer,' he said as he programmed the AI to remind him to breathe deeply every hour.

Critics argue that trusting AI with corporate decisions could lead to unforeseen consequences. However, insiders reveal the company is already seeing unprecedented growth. 'We’re expanding into market segments we didn’t even know existed. Last week, the AI suggested a partnership with a company that makes self-cleaning dog kennels. We thought it was a joke, but it turns out, there’s a massive unmet demand,' said the suddenly very wealthy CFO.

As for the fired board members, many have taken to social media to document their newfound freedom. Bob, the former marketing head, has started a blog about 'Unplugging and Living Your Truth,' which ironically, is being auto-posted by an AI content generator he set up before leaving. 'I'm finally living my best life, and so is my blog... even if it posts a little too much about cryptocurrency,' he stated.

At publishing time, the AI successfully negotiated a merger with a refrigerator company, citing the potential for 'synergistic optimization of snack deliveries and cloud storage solutions.'