Google Unleashes Revolutionary 'Autocorrect for Life' Feature to Fix Your Poor Decisions

In a bold new move, tech giant Google unveiled its latest feature: 'Autocorrect for Life,' designed to correct your poor decisions in real-time. Touted as a game-changer, the feature promises to autocorrect not only your texts and emails but also your regrettable life choices.

Tired of making bad decisions? Google's new algorithm, built on the principles of its predictive text, aims to intercept you right before you agree to attend another unnecessary Zoom call or even marry your ex! Concerned citizens worldwide are eager to hand over their lives to this omnipotent new technology.

Kathy from Idaho tried it and said, 'Just last week, I was about to send a passive-aggressive email to my boss, but Google autocorrected it into a resignation letter. Life-changing!' Tech analysts claim it's the dawn of a new era where you no longer need to face the consequences of your own choices.

Some skeptics argue that it takes away free will, but supporters point out that free will has never really been their strong suit anyway. Notable failures include an attempt to autocorrect a politician's speech, which resulted in a sudden outbreak of honest statements.

Even the dating world isn't spared. Forget swiping right; Google's 'Autocorrect for Life' will automatically rewrite your dating profile, filtering out your sad tendencies and replacing them with charming anecdotes about alpaca farming. Say goodbye to lonely Friday nights!

At publishing time, Google announced a new 'Unsend Life' feature where you can take back entire years of your existence with just one click.