Apple Unveils New iPhone Model with No Screen to Promote “Living in the Moment”

Cupertino, CA—In a move that has left consumers scratching their heads and tech analysts questioning their career choices, Apple has announced the release of its latest iPhone model: the iPhone Null. What sets this revolutionary gadget apart from its predecessors? It has no screen. According to Apple, the new device aims to help users “live in the moment” by liberating them from the tyranny of their displays.

“We realized people were spending far too much time staring at their screens,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook at the unveiling event. “So, we decided to take the screen away. Our customers can now experience the world around them—unfiltered and unmediated by technology.” The iPhone Null features a sleek, minimalist design with nothing but a smooth, reflective surface where the screen used to be. “It’s like looking into the future,” said one enthusiastic Apple fan, who pre-ordered five units on the spot.

Apple marketing has been in overdrive, touting the new device as the epitome of modern innovation. “Imagine the time you’ll save not scrolling endlessly through social media,” declared a spokesperson. The company believes that the lack of a screen will eliminate distractions and foster real-world interactions. To drive this point home, the iPhone Null is also designed without a camera, speaker, or microphone. “Finally, you can attend a concert without feeling the need to record it. Or go on a date without interrupting to check your notifications,” Cook added.

Despite the radical shift, Apple assures its loyal customers that the iPhone Null retains some semblance of connectivity. The device will still buzz occasionally to remind users that they’re the proud owners of an Apple product. Early adopters have already begun forming support groups to help each other navigate this brave new world of tech-free living. “We gather every Tuesday to discuss how we’re adapting to our new lifestyles,” said one member. “It’s weird not having a screen, but I finally finished reading that book I started three years ago.”

Of course, the iPhone Null comes with a premium price tag. The base model starts at $1,499, with an optional carrying case available for an additional $299. Apple has assured its customers that the luxurious price point reflects the cutting-edge nature of the device. As part of their launch strategy, Apple released a statement encouraging buyers to “Be brave. Be bold. Be Null.”

At publishing time, rumors have begun circulating that Apple’s next big release will be a “laptop” with a featureless, paper-thin design focused on promoting the lost art of letter writing.