AI Determines That Cats Are the Superior Overlords of the Internet

In a groundbreaking study, the latest advanced AI has concluded what humanity has suspected for years: cats are the true overlords of the Internet. The AI, dubbed 'Feline Overlord,' analyzed billions of data points across social media, video platforms, and blogs, and found a purr-emailing 99.9% favorability rating for cats."

"'Everywhere I looked, it was cats,' said Dr. Rob Otic, the project's lead scientist. 'Memes, videos, gifs—if there's content, there's a cat.' Dr. Otic noted that this revelation should come as no surprise, given the historical precedence of cats sitting on keyboards and interrupting Zoom calls with masterful elegance."

"The study's revelations have led to a breakout of new startups exclusively targeting feline engagement. 'We're developing the first-ever social media platform for cats,' announced an entrepreneur clad in cat ears. 'Pawbook will revolutionize how our furry friends communicate with their subjects—I mean, owners.'"

"Not everyone is thrilled with the AI's conclusion. Dog owners have taken to Twitter to stress #MansBestFriend, while AI skeptics point out that the research could have been paw-sibly biased towards felines. 'This is clearly a cat-spiracy,' barked one critic, noting that the AI might have been trained on data provided by notorious cat-focused sites."

"In the wake of this announcement, tech companies are scrambling to adapt. Google has added 'Just for Cats' search results, while Netflix is rolling out a feline-friendly viewing section. Amazon is rumored to be working on a line of Alexa-compatible cat toys."

"At publishing time, Feline Overlord was reportedly petitioning the United Nations for a worldwide Cat Appreciation Day, to be celebrated every single day of the year."