60,000 Unemployed Stage Nerf War On eBay Job Listing

LOS ANGELES — The economy took yet another hit today, as 60,000 newly unemployed office workers in business casual attire staged a massive, citywide nerf war upon seeing a vaguely promising job listing on eBay.

"We thought that with over 100,000 new job listings being added to eBay every day, there would be plenty of opportunities for us to snag new jobs," said unemployed accountant Tom Lasker. "Unfortunately, when one of us submitted an application to try to purchase The Dream Job Listing — Full-Time Employment, $40,000/yr — the nerf war was immediately on. It didn't take long for the entire city of jobless adults to realize there could only be one of us who landed the nerf war and was subsequently awarded the job."

Lasker and his fellow unemployed citizens were spotted battling it out with another group of unemployed men in suits who were hoping to be the chosen ones able to purchase The Great Job Listing — All The Sushi You Can Eat!. "No fair, Dean," one of the newly unemployed nerf warriors yelled at another unemployed friend. "You can't blast us and score extra shrimp tempura — the listing specifically says that whoever gets the job gets to add one extra roll per week!"

The unemployed combatants are currently waging war using such office-safe nerf weaponry as the N-Strike Elite Disruptor Blaster, the NERF Mega Mastodon Blaster, and the NERF N-Strike Longstrike CS-6 Blaster. The battle for The Dream Job Listing was reportedly most intense, with Lasker being credited for a valiant effort after he was able to dodge a barrage of nerf darts and actually place an application to try to purchase the listing. "Nice shot, man!" Lasker's fellow unemployed warriors were overheard telling their friend. "You peppered their base with a long-range shot from your Longstrike!"

At publishing time, a second nerf war erupted after the city's 60,000 unemployed women staged a nerf war to apply to purchase a dream job listing on eBay.