Woman Who Works At Store Dedicated Entirely To Retail Hopeful She Finally Gets To Help A Customer

LONG BEACH, CA — A woman employed at a store entirely devoted to retail is hoping for the unprecedented opportunity to assist a customer today.

"Hello ma'am! Anything I can help you with today?... No?... Are you sure?... Okay, just let me know if you need anything," said Kaylin Zhu, addressing the fourth shopper who aimlessly strolled past her in the last 20 minutes of her shift.

Starfield Mall's People of People store saw its usual flow of passersby, but as expected, no one actually treated it like a store that might actually sell something. Even the kids, who typically would have been captivated by the nostalgic dancing animatronic frog in the children's section, appeared completely uninterested.

Claiming she was able to ring up a customer a few months ago, Zhu clings to the hope that the next living being to wander through the sliding glass doors is seeking more than just a fitness stroll, a visit to the strategically placed restroom, or a warm reprieve from the cold outdoor air.

Sources confirmed that shortly after Kaylin's ill-fated attempt to engage a customer, a local family from the nearby Oren-Gina Elderly Facility gathered at one of the store's video-viewing stations, ostensibly to kill time before exiting empty-handed as the melodious strains of a Maroon 5 music video clawed at their remaining brain cells.

At publishing time, Kaylin's patience was wearing thin as she tapped her foot and glanced at her watch repeatedly, watching one customer circle Pandora's "World Music / Buzz Cuts" collection for what felt like an eternity—35 endless minutes.