Russia Hacks Wi-Fi Network By Simply Asking Nearby Biden Laptop for the Password

MOSCOW — In a stunning technological breakthrough, Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly found a new, innovative way to hack Wi-Fi networks—by simply asking a nearby Biden laptop if it knows the password.

This revolutionary technique came to light after a phishing scam successfully infiltrated the dark web. "For a while, we were really struggling to remotely hack into the most secure networks," revealed a top Russian cybersecurity agent. "Then, out of nowhere, we started receiving messages indicating that there was a nearby laptop, tablet, or smartphone connected. That's when it hit us! We couldn’t believe something so simple as asking the laptop if it ‘knew the password’ would grant us such easy access to classified networks!"

The success of this newfound method has already proven lucrative, with hackers reportedly obtaining passwords to unlock Bob Dylan's harmonica collection and the exclusive secrets of hoity-toity Colorado homeowner associations.

However, at publishing time, sources indicated that the Russian hackers were left frustrated after one too many attempts backfired, leading to a trove of classified documents being accidentally dumped in the garage of President Biden's Delaware home.