Woke CEO Of Child Slave Factory Lectures World On Who Has 'License To Build'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At the International Astronautical Congress, Airbus CEO Guillaume Faury challenged the space industry's vision for space travel and lectured the world on who should be allowed the dream of going to space.

Airbus has a long history of shady dealings with China, a country that still uses slave labor.

"Companies should have a proven ability to work ethically with everyone – by everyone I only mean the Chinese," said Mr. Faury to the uneasy crowd. "And everyone must have sustainable drive and no prior business dealings with Communists, except for Communists. I'm, of course, referring to my good pals at China Aerospace Science and Industry Corporation. Great folks! Really on top of the whole using-child-slaves thing."

The citizens of Xinjiang, China, who are forced into Airbus' supply chain, were unavailable for comment.

Attendees of the congress say the speech seemed aimed at blacklisting SpaceX until it hit the odd caveat about working with China. "It's almost as though Airbus wants total control of the space industry while they exploit child slaves," said one attendee who wished to remain anonymous. "You might think that, but then again, who would do business with a nation that uses child slaves? Worse yet, who would lecture others?"

At publishing time, Mr. Faury had clarified his remarks by asking other visionary space companies to just let him know if they needed any children for River of Sorrows Reeducation Camp, and he'd be happy to load up another batch of slaves for them.