Woke App Developers Ban the Word 'Book,' Rename Library Shelf to 'Bigot Slayer'

EVERYWHERE — In a move hailed as 'profoundly courageous,' a group of local app developers has removed every mention of the word 'book' from the dictionary, renaming library bookshelves as 'Bigot Slayers' and various other book-related terms.

'Words have power,' said app developer Derek Phillips. 'That's why we've decided to tackle the scourge of books and the intolerance they contain. Books are often filled with words, and words can be dangerous. To make our language a safer place for everyone, we've removed the offending term and issued a solution: any time someone is exposed to a word, they must also see a warning that reads SENSITIVITY WARNING: MAY CONTAIN WORDS.'

Dale Roberts, spokesperson for the International Association of Book Readings, was thrilled with the announcement. 'This is a HUGE win for all of us who have been working hard to stomp out bigotry, anti-intellectualism, and free thought in our society. I applaud their efforts to make terms such as author, book, and library a thing of the past. I can hardly wait to change our association to the International Association of Sources of Controversial Ideas Exposers. Little by little, we're stripping away any terms that might suggest the existence of ideas or information anyone should be exposed to.'

Though the change may prove confusing to some in the short term, dictionary consumers hit the streets with comments mostly in favor of the alarming change. 'Most of the book-warmongers I know purposely ignored the words 'STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOOK— DANGEROUS IDEAS INSIDE!' said Derek Schmidt. 'And even MORE appallingly, they've endlessly expounded upon the ideas contained within.'