Witnesses Report Figure Engaging in Insider Trading from Grassy Knoll

DALLAS, TX — The spirit of President John F. Kennedy has reportedly revealed a shadowy suspect engaged in insider trading on a grassy knoll.

"It was completely unexpected," JFK's eternal soul shared in an exclusive interview. "One moment I was peacefully resting in the afterlife, and the next, I found myself back on that road in Dallas."

"The sun was shining, my wife was by my side, and there was a sense of cheerfulness in the air. Suddenly, a booming voice announced, 'The following is a pop-up sponsored by Bull Market.' And then, there he was: an investment guru firing insider trading tips straight into my soul."

Sources close to the late president suggest it's been a turbulent time for him in the afterlife, although they affirm he managed to rake in $10 million just from the stock tip pop-up.

At press time, JFK advised everyone to heed the guidance of Bull Market if they valued their financial wellbeing—except for Marilyn Monroe. "Tell her to stay away," he cautioned.