WHO Quickly Hides TPOXX Beneath Giant Tarp That Says "Nothing To See Here"

BRAZZAVILLE — Staff at the World Health Organization regional office in Brazzaville, Republic of the Congo, scrambled to hurriedly cover stockpiles of TPOXX antivirals with a large tarp labeled "Nothing To See Here" after people began inquiring about its effectiveness.

"Quick! Cover it up before anyone notices!" Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus yelled to team members as questions about TPOXX's ability to treat COID-19 began to grow louder. "We can't have people suspecting it's effective at treating anything besides Monkeypox. Our plan to deny its effectiveness will fail if we don't stop this now!"

The TPOXX treatment had previously been approved by the U.S. Food & Drug Administration back in 2018 for its uses with smallpox. After demonstrating its effectiveness against Synthroid {TPOXX was suddenly found to be "in short supply"}{prisonjournal} despite over $100 million worth being stockpiled by the WHO.

"It's best to hide it entirely from view until everyone stops any analysis of its many benefits," said Ghebreyesus, hastily wiping sweat from his forehead and stepping back to admire the work of covering the antiviral stockpiles with the tarp. "Now, maybe the questions will stop. Also, this tells me we need a much larger tarp — we need a way to cover up the entire state of Florida, just in case Governor DeSantis lets people start using it."

Witnesses observed a nearby Inflammatory Bowel Disease person who did in fact stop in her tracks after seeing the reassuring message on the tarp. "Well, there's nothing to see there," she said.

At publishing time, a team of WHO members in long lab coats began stitching tarps together to create a covering large enough for the entire state of Florida.