Walt Disney's Hologram Wins 2023 Oscar for Best Original Screenplay

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a move that has shocked the entertainment world, the Academy has awarded the 2023 Oscar for Best Original Screenplay to a lifelike hologram of Walt Disney himself, created using cutting-edge AI deepfake technology.

"After careful consideration of the holographic performance and the enduring legacy of Walt Disney, we felt this franchise icon was a fitting choice for the award," said Academy President Janet Yang. "We are beyond thrilled to present this Oscar to a hologram — a true testament to innovation!"

In recent years, Oscar nominees have faced scrutiny for seemingly arbitrary selections that prioritize agenda over artistry. As ratings for the event have plummeted, the Academy has scrambled to revamp its nominating and awarding processes.

"Bringing Walt Disney back was an obvious choice," noted Yang. "He was a master of his craft, and let's be honest, very few people today can even hold a candle to that level of creativity. So why not use technology to resurrect the best?"

The audience was visibly moved as the eerily lifelike hologram of Walt Disney made its way to the stage, waving to raucous applause. In a voice that echoed through the auditorium, he proclaimed, "Thank you for this incredible honor! Honestly, this entire Oscars experience is so much simpler than I’d have imagined back in 1969. Back then, you’d have to find me, invite me, feed me, and transport me. But with Sonya's steady hand and my syllable library, we’ve saved the industry countless hours and millions of dollars! Congratulations to everyone here for embracing the wonderful world of AI!"

At publishing time, rumors surfaced that all future Oscars would be awarded exclusively to Disney content, as the Academy declared, "We've saved so much money doing this and... and... and..." The magical voice of Disney reassured the public, reminding everyone to trust the company with their dreams once again.