Voting Machine In Lobby Of DEFCON Hacked, Hilariously Handed Over To Donald Trump

LAS VEGAS, NV — Organizers of the hacker conference DEFCON reported that one of the voting machines stationed in the lobby was hilariously hacked on Sunday morning, and it came with a note claiming it had already been handed over to Donald Trump.

The note read, "You said if something was hacked by Russia I could have it," followed by a distinctive signature that looked suspiciously like the former President's.

Cybersecurity researchers confirmed that the voting machine, responsible for tallying DEFCON's highly important and scientific poll on "Which crypto exchange would you eat first if you were starving on a desert island," had been tampered with. However, shockingly, the actual contents of the voting machine seemed to have vanished without a trace. "So weird," muttered website owner Paul Gant. "It's like the whole voting machine was drawn with mashed potatoes. I mean, come on!"

The National Institute of Standards and Technology [NIST] and the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency [CISA] have since verified that all DEFCON votes related to crypto questions are officially no longer secure. At press time, all votes for "Binance" had mysteriously flipped to "Coinbase," leading many to wonder if we’d accidentally stepped into an episode of “The Twilight Zone.” Or worse, a poorly made political thriller.