Trump Canvassers Complain About Forced Rides in Pelosi's Luxury SUVs

FLORIDA — Trump supporters hitting the streets to canvass neighborhoods and speak with their fellow Americans are voicing their frustrations after being forced to ride in the back of Pelosi-approved luxury SUVs. Many claim this is entirely unconstitutional.

"This is an elitist ride," said one canvasser, wearing a necktie and sporting a meticulous hairstyle during a press interview. "If they'd signed up for a dinner escort with Donald Trump at his posh Mar-a-Lago mansion, then sure, a Pelosi SUV ride would make sense. But talking to hardworking Americans about surging inflation and rising crime? Camels when necessary, please!"

Labeling the luxury SUVs "world-destroying fossil tanks for Democrat world dominators," scores of canvassers refused to accept the employer-supplied Escalade XT luxury line from local Trump HQ. Instead, they gathered on the side of the road, squeezing into economical cars while dreaming of a ride home that didn't involve Pelosi's transportation.

A Florida Trump campaign advocate expressed confusion over the uproar, stating they clearly communicated expected transportation arrangements to all canvassers. "Everyone has to sign an options box," said Danielle Parker. "If you refuse luxury, then you get exactly that. So, you drive around in a Monster Pelosi World Rift. Not my problem if they don’t get the joke about riding in a world killer!"

At publishing time, the Trump campaign had confirmed its latest order with a local dealer for more luxury Pelosi rides, reporting that the stencils with Joe Biden's signature had been printed ahead of schedule.