TikTok Employees Indifferent To Fact Their Careers Could Be Eviscerated Any Moment Due To Working At TikTok

SAN JOSE, CA — Amid swirling political tensions and the looming threat of a presidential election, sources report that TikTok employees are less than enthusiastic about either of the leading candidates, knowing full well that both would gleefully obliterate their careers at the popular app if given the chance.

Despite laboring under the shadow of potential career doom, employees revealed that morale within their ranks remains surprisingly upbeat.

"Sure, there's a decent chance this could all end in a fireball of despair, but really, I just love crafting ridiculously addictive apps!" said one employee, flashing a nervous grin. "If this really is the end, I hope people remember us for our algorithm that transforms otherwise adorable children’s faces into pixelated avatars, and perhaps our not-so-subtle Left-wing persuasion!"

Another employee chimed in, "Honestly, I think we’ve left the children of America much worse off than we found them, so I have no complaints. It’s all in a day's work, right?"

At publishing time, TikTok executives had announced a bold new strategy to curry favor with the Republican candidate by handing over complete control of their election algorithm to President Trump — in exchange for a promise not to wipe out their jobs entirely. Experts say this could work, ensuring TikTok employees get to continue their relentless march toward draining humanity of its morality for many years to come.