Tech Company Struggles To Explain Why Collecting Data For Ads Is Bad But Data Collection For ESG Is Good

NEW YORK CITY — Local tech chief Juan Bordjes faced an uphill battle during a company-wide presentation Friday, attempting to explain why collecting personal data for serving ads is bad, while collecting personal data for ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) assessments is good.

"Here’s the thing," said Bordjes, visibly grappling with this conundrum. "Ad data–dat bad. ESG data–dat good. Does that make sense?"

Project manager Nancy raised her hand for clarification and asked, "So, data bad, data good?"

"Exactly! It’s very simple. Any questions?" Juan replied with a forced smile.

Nancy pointed out the glaring difference: "Data to serve ads helps consumers find relevant products, while ESG data can literally determine job futures and mortgage eligibility!"

In a moment of bewilderment, Juan could only stammer, "Dat bad, oonga boonga, data good," desperately searching for a coherent response.

At publishing time, sources confirmed that Nancy had been terminated for asking too many questions.