Student Rewrites Paper To Fit 10% Plagiarism Allowance

PROVO, UT — In a late-night caffeine-fueled frenzy, BYU student Gage Walchek reached the "finalize" stage of his English 201 paper and grabbed an energy drink to kickstart his last-minute rewrite. His plan? To expertly weave in essays he found online, presenting them as his own genius ideas.

"Lucky for me, my English professor has a 10% cap on plagiarism — which means I can go hog wild with 90% of my paper coming straight from the brilliant minds on the internet," said Mr. Walchek, surrounded by an impressive collection of energy drinks and half-eaten snacks. "So I just need to make sure I don’t completely rip off more than 10% of my paper, or I could be toast!"

The man enforcing this generous 10% cap on academic creativity is Mr. Manken, a seasoned English instructor with a passionate 45-year career in teaching. Known for his strict rules against outright copying, he still embraces a philosophy of "a little is okay" when it comes to plagiarism in student submissions.

"I could have instituted a zero-tolerance policy, saying, 'If we catch you using any plagiarized material, you're out of this class,' but what kind of teacher wants to suck the fun out of education?" Mr. Manken mused while marking a student assignment. "I want students to showcase their intellect, albeit with some side assistance from the internet. My golden rule is simple: fail anyone with over 10% plagiarism — a guy's gotta have principles!"

At publishing time, Gage Walchek received feedback on his submission and a shocking 0% plagiarism score, as his To Kill A Mockingbird paper was found to contain such incomprehensible gibberish that no other author could possibly be held accountable for its sheer nonsensical brilliance.