Straight Man Furious Amazon Keeps Sending Ads For Whatever 'Succession' Is

LOUISVILLE, KY — In what has been described as one of the most bewildering cases of advertising gone awry, a straight man this week became irate after Amazon repeatedly bombarded him with advertisements for whatever this "Succession" thing is.

Glenn Gaiman, who possesses every imaginable trait of a man who is undeniably attracted to women, slammed his laptop shut when his homepage suggested he would enjoy something called GoJo lounge pants. "What is this show? What’s a Skadden Arps? And why is there an old guy popping on screen and off with another old guy?" he reportedly lamented to a friend, referring to characters Logan Roy and Gerri Kellman. "I don’t know much about it, but it sounds pretty stupid."

Gaiman's friend noted that his frustration was reminiscent of a child denied a snack — and Gaiman was clearly hungry for something other than TV shows.

Witnesses described how, despite not being subjected to any sort of transformative 'Will capitalism continue to exist?' epiphany, Gaiman continued to receive emails from Amazon promoting Men's Above The Knee Shorts With Zipper Pockets and Clutching Liquor Bottle Ice Cube Molds. "I don't even know what that is," Gaiman complained, drowning in unsolicited promotional content. "Why can’t these marketers, who clearly have no clue who I am, understand that I don’t care about this show?"

At publishing time, Gaiman had begrudgingly decided to download Peacock to finally see what this 'Yellowstone' thing was all about, proving that if he can't beat the system, he might as well join the streaming wars.