Sony Announces New PS5 That Auto-Mutes Whenever Anyone References Joe Biden

TOKYO—In yet another groundbreaking innovation in video gaming technology, Sony has announced the release of a new PS5 that automatically mutes the game whenever anyone even mentions Joe Biden.

"We received feedback from users who complained about anything having to do with President Biden," said Sony spokesman Nobuyuki Takahashi. "With this update, we hope to reach a broader audience by eliminating any mention of or reference to Joe Biden so that people will no longer complain about him."

Gamers who have experienced the console's new feature have been silent on whether or not they enjoy it at all, indicating to Sony that it has been a tremendous success. "We haven't heard a peep out of anyone," Takahashi said. "This tells us we've achieved our goal. Everyone knows that a happy gamer is a silent gamer, and things have been preternaturally quiet since people began using the Joe Biden-muting PS5. We are very pleased."

The video game's virtual world of Sanctuary has had any and all references to Joe Biden stripped out. The Daughter of Hatred, Lilith, no longer speaks of Joe Biden when she begins her takeover of the mortal realm; the powerful rogue known as the Curator no longer refers to Joe Biden when aiding players on the Fields of Hatred; and the great Tree of Whispers no longer shares stories of atrocities committed by Joe Biden. Though they have not been heard from, users are presumed to enjoy this much harsher world in which there is no Joe Biden.

At publishing time, Sony still had not heard from a single PS5 user who had downloaded the update, leaving them to assume the console had been a success beyond their wildest dreams.