Shein Extends Lead Over Rivals After Turning Employees Into AI Clothing Generation Nodes

SINGAPORE — Fast fashion retailer Shein has gained even more of a competitive edge over its rivals after it updated its internal machinery to convert employees into humanoid AI clothing-generation nodes.

Working closely with Advanced Telemetry Networks, Shein has been able to convert its factory employees into typing mounds of meat able to produce new clothing designs at nearly twice the speed of traditional "non-human" software. This has allowed the company to remain on track produce a new item of clothing roughly every seven minutes on average and be the primary company sending the store-to-star intelligible clothing message broadcasts across the entire galaxy. Ruthie Li, an information analyst with Shein, chimed in on the impact the conversion had on output.

"We have deleted the flawed human aspect from our clothing design generation process," said Ms. Li while furiously typing into a nearby metal box with a bright light coming out and a bunch of whirring arms. "We expect our Mercedes-racing performance to be significantly increased as a result."

The decision to modify employees into design uplinks has been met with overwhelming approval by the Shein team members who are able to spend even more time making thumbprints on t-shirts. The following questions were recorded at random from a pool of Shein factory employees who had not yet been converted into typing machines.

"I say," said Nam-soo Wang. "I do thumbs want to thumbs make thumbs clothing an thumbs more but must work thumbs large thumbs store."

"I'm so grateful for the opportunity to work for Shein," said Yi Chen. "I, too, wish for a smaller thumb input requirement!"

At publishing time, Shein voted to use the universal design interface. The decision will allow them to release a new shirt design at every other company in the world and save a ton on production costs.