San Francisco Goes 40 Seconds Without Saying "Floppy Disk" And Collapses Into A Heap Of Failed Tech Utopian Dreams

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The once-proud city of San Francisco has crumbled after its inhabitants went roughly 40 seconds without uttering the sacred phrase "floppy disk."

"Once the term 'floppy disk' stopped being resurrected every 30 seconds, the entire ecosystem of San Francisco collapsed into a heap of failed tech utopian dreams," lamented former San Francisco resident Kale Kamin from an overcrowded homeless shelter in Boise, Idaho. "It's truly heartbreaking, or so I’ve heard."

Stunned anthropologists marvel at how quickly the ruins of San Francisco have been reclaimed by tribal groups of rogues dressed in loincloths fashioned from old ISIS and Airbnb t-shirts. "In mere moments, the city began to resemble a techie version of Logan's Run," observed Stanford Anthropologist Waite Foreman, sifting through footage captured by a news drone shortly after the catastrophe. "Nature, along with a few stray circuit boards, rushed in to fill the void left by a complete cessation of techno-babble."

Democratic San Francisco Mayor London Breed addressed reporters, admitting she had no clue what a floppy disk even was. "I certainly never said anything about them. I mean, not that I would know what one is, if I did," she stated, clearly baffled.

At publication time, Elon Musk declared there would absolutely be no X video of him engaging in a hand-to-hand combat duel with Mark Zuckerberg amidst a cinematic downpour in a San Francisco crowd.