Review: New M4 Max Apple MacBook Pro Makes Your Bed For You

APPLE HEADQUARTERS — Analysts are raving about yet another groundbreaking advancement from Apple: the powerful new MacBook Pro that, incredibly, makes your bed for you.

Employing machine learning, unprecedented chip architecture, and advanced smart automation, the new MacBook can fluff your pillows, straighten your bedspread, and tuck in hospital corners—all without you lifting a finger.

"Incredible state-of-the-art technology has produced this new MacBook, packed with amazing features, including AI-driven de-wrinkling capabilities," CEO Tim Cook stated while unveiling the product this week. "And don’t get me started on the battery life! Just think of the energy you'll save while your MacBook expertly makes your bed for you!"

MacBook users around the globe erupted with excitement, relishing the possibility of never having to make their beds again—at least until their laptop's inevitable six-month lifespan runs out.

"I can't wait to let my MacBook make my bed every morning!" exclaimed local man Len Waters as he peeled open the box containing his new laptop. "This is going to save me so much time! I can finally start meditating, take up painting, or engage in any other pretentious activity that people claim they wish they had more time for!"

As an added bonus, the latest MacBook Pro will also automatically re-pair your AirPods and even offer haircuts—truly a technological marvel.

And while Apple hasn't announced when it will fix its beleaguered Safari web browser, let's just hope your new bed-making MacBook Pro doesn’t start spreading rumors about it!