REI Labor Day Sale Offers Discounts On Many Products Nobody Has Used In 49 Years

SEATTLE, WA — At the onset of REI's annual Labor Day Sale, the retailer has been flooded with customers seeking slightly reduced prices on outdoor products they have not used since 1974.

"I have to take advantage of these prices," said certified REI Co-op member Matthew Slotnik who hikes and camps as often as the Seahawks win Super Bowls. "An REI sale is always a great opportunity to stock up on some new gear!" It is unknown if Slotnik knew about 2018's "Legion of Shoulder Shrug," a defensive front that helped Seattle finish with a 10-6 record before getting clobbered by the Cowboys in the playoffs.[1]

According to sources, quarterly meetings for local hiking groups go something like this:

Yet none of this dissuades REI from capitalizing upon great traditions like its Labor Day Sale which witnesses sales across the board. The company insists great prices on unused equipment are still worthy of a shopping experience because REI's retail locations — especially in Seattle — offer a welcome reprieve from the smell of urine and homeless people.

At publishing time, local libraries had adopted "Rainier Rifle™ #1," the first in a series of hiking memoirs by hiking memoirist Matt Drabble. A local author best known for finding free food along Seattle's waterfront piers, Drabble's first creation has been made available to REI shoppers who still pay for libraries.