PS5 Owners Just Hope This Gray Edition Isn't Another Defective One

HOLLYWOOD, CA — After the announcement of a special edition gray Playstation 5, countless owners of the existing console are crossing their fingers that this new version isn’t another defective piece of hardware.

"Sure, it's a pretty sweet looking console," said PS5 owner Christopher P. "But let’s not forget the Horizon Forbidden West and God of War Ragnarök editions that launched with more issues than my love life. I think I’ll wait for someone else to risk their money first before I pull the trigger on this new color!"

Much like its predecessors, the new gray edition flaunts its features, which include zero controller battery life, no optional hardware upgrade options, a total absence of functional 2D games, a delightful eight to twelve bugs per game launch, and, of course, no actual 5G connectivity—all wrapped up in a stunning shade of gray!

"They promised no virtual console and no backward compatibility, but honestly, I didn’t complain since the launch version runs a whopping .25 frames faster in 4D right now," Christopher continued, displaying a glimmer of misguided optimism. "But if they expect me to cough up cash for another new model, they better get it right this time!"

At publishing time, Christopher summoned all his courage and purchased a game for the PS5, simultaneously committing to both gaming glory and the risk of further heartbreak.