Pretty Sure New Phone Knows Every Website I Shouldn't Go To

U.S. — While attempting to click on a dubious link last night, local man Larry Giddings was disturbed to discover that his phone seemed to possess an extraordinarily detailed knowledge of the websites he was unequivocally forbidden from visiting.

"Whoa, why that creepy pop-up warning all of a sudden?" Giddings exclaimed, suddenly anxious. "How did my phone know my wife doesn’t want me visiting that site? Is it psychic?"

Sources confirm that Giddings continued to browse with a strangely more nervous ease, only to hit a wall when he tried to read an article about ivermectin. Suddenly, a warning screen flashed, advising him to reconsider his life choices if he dared to continue.

"This whole time, I thought my family was somehow monitoring my internet traffic, or maybe even employing a psychic. But it seems my phone is just entirely unhinged! Who in their right mind designed this thing?" he lamented.

At publishing time, Giddings had decided to put down his phone and engage in a wholesome conversation with his wife about which grill recipes were safe to explore.