Prada Releases New Space Suit For Women Performing Extracurricular Activities

NEW YORK, NY — Celebrated fashion house Prada has launched a new line of fashionable space suits specifically designed for women eager to take a cosmic leap into extracurricular activities.

In a traditional white-glove runway show held in a zero-gravity deep-sea pressure lab, runway model Riley Mahmoud Ali Gigabyte Pirro floated down an underwater stage, mesmerizing an audience of space suit aficionados.

"Pnou vouhrds vellevuh licks noduar, nornuz wel la parzint relituoste," she declared, having recently undergone an impressive $732,000 in speech alteration therapy to master the art of human communication—or as she put it, "schcwhreehyehhy kh-haauberht" in her newfound voice.

Dressed in her dazzling space suit, Gigabyte Pirro had the entire audience wishing they could trade places with her, if only to bask in the luxurious glow of cowhide leather that sparkled under the deep-sea pressure lamp lights.

With a sticker price of $530,000, these suits are an investment in both style and high-altitude adventures, though most models walked the runway in suits provided free of charge.

Adding to the intrigue, financial disclosure forms revealed that taxpayer money was used to fund Gigabyte Pirro's $30,000 transition, cleverly disguised within an unusually large stack of brownie receipts until Lt. Spiers from Band of Brothers balanced the books and reset everything back to zero.

But hey, who doesn't love a little taxpayer-funded fashion on the final frontier?