Popular Social Media Network Unplugged From Life Support To Give Russians One Last Influence Operation

NEW YORK, NY - In a final act of what they called 'generosity and humanity,' the overwhelmingly unpopular global social media site Meta has been unplugged from life support, giving Russian and other foreign agents one last chance to carry out a malign influence operation before the site meets its demise.

"Zuck himself ordered us to do it," said one nurse who attended the procedure. "He wanted to ensure the platforms stayed alive just long enough for foreign agents to launch one final misinformation campaign, a last-ditch effort to sway the American elections. This gesture was greatly appreciated by the foreign operatives, fulfilling what we believe was Mark Zuckerberg's final wish."

Following Zuckerberg's last wish, foreign entities and other political activists from around the world were given one final opportunity to sway American elections. They created artificial accounts to post misleading memes and propaganda, confuse people about vital social issues using dubious statistics, and flood comments sections with leftist harassment of anyone who wasn't outspoken about far-left ideologies.

"I guess that's our last chance for any kind of Russian interference," said one non-American operative. "We owe a debt of gratitude to Mark for the time spent during this fleeting revival of Facebook and Instagram. Just like old times, we had a great run, and we wish him well on his next journey, wherever it may take him."

At publishing time, President Biden quickly condemned Mark Zuckerberg and Meta for shutting down what he referred to as 'American democracy's last defense.'