Person Who Got Laid Off By Google Explains How They Deserved It

BOSTON, MA — As part of Google's mass firing that laid off 12,000 employees, marketing manager Kevin Wyatt was called into human resources this morning to explain why his job wouldn't actually be missed.

"Honestly, this makes complete sense," Wyatt admitted to HR. "I haven't really worked in about, four years I'd say. Plus I'm still part of the team that spent $100,000 on the new company slogan 'Don't Be Bad,' so yeah. I get it."

Wyatt, who was hired at google for his diverse opinions as a staunch conservative, claimed he was only too happy to let them go. "He understands we don't actually do much around here," said HR director Kendall Fairbanks. "Yeah, all I did today was play foosball and eat free lobster bisque on the 10th floor, so there's nothing left for me. I'm fine to go."

According to sources, Wynn spent the rest of the day explaining to his coworkers how they really couldn't complain about being fired.

At publishing time, Wyatt was trying to collect himself after letting his former coworkers know he voted for Trump. "There's no way I'm getting out now," he told our source.