Perplexity AI: Making the World Better by Rewriting Your Articles in a Surprisingly Worse Way

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a groundbreaking move that has left many scratching their heads, Perplexity AI has achieved its mission of making the world a better, slightly worse place by taking legitimate news articles and rewriting them in a bewilderingly inferior fashion.

"While some critics claim we're not the most original, we prefer to say, 'Check out the originality of this very original thought,'" said a spokesperson for Perplexity AI. "In an era where everything keeps getting better, who would have the audacity to make things slightly worse? Well, we did! That’s right, we’ve boldly transformed whatever you’ve created into something that’s... how do we put this? Oh yes, slightly worse, and we add almost nothing original. Now that’s got to count as originality, right?"

The company has perfected the art of incorporating multiple redundancies, misspellings, and truncating lengthy novels into short pamphlets. Their specialty? Creativity-sapping, soul-numbing prose that leaves readers wondering why they even bothered.

"Perplexity AI is truly a breakthrough in the field of not-so-great writing," wrote The New York Times—allegedly, though it was worded in a way that left the real intent unclear.

At press time, sources revealed that the company was also planning to start working backward, eventually producing content at the intellectual level of a pet hamster, probably. Because why not?