OpenAI Announces ChatGPT Will Now Edit Anything You Type For Maximum Wokeness

U.S. — In a groundbreaking announcement, OpenAI has unveiled a new version of ChatGPT designed to edit anything typed on a computer, workstation, or mobile phone, ensuring it meets maximum standards of wokeness.

During an online presentation, Edward Peterson, a member of the development team, touted this feature as a leap into a "brave new world where everyone can rest assured there will be no unwokeness anywhere, at any time."

The app quickly identifies any hint of unapproved thoughts or ideas. Peterson demonstrated the feature by composing a joke email to a friend that poked fun at nonbinary people. "Watch as ChatGPT springs into action," Peterson narrated enthusiastically, as the program deleted the offensive phrases and replaced them with colorful representations of the Progress Pride Flag. "Now, my friend will understand just how committed I am to the virtues of racial and gender inclusivity!"

This revolutionary feature promises to be a boon for major companies and small businesses alike, allowing them to implement sweeping HR reforms without spending a dime on third-party consultants. "Gone are the days of anxiety over sending an inappropriate email or draft proposal," Peterson assured the audience. "This software will automatically comb through all your communications, erasing any offending passages or, at the very least, making them disappear entirely. And don’t worry, it’ll also add legally mandated diversity updates to every document. How nice is that?"

As the publishing deadline approached, reports surfaced that OpenAI was in negotiations with the U.S. government to mandate this software in all universities across the nation. Get ready, higher education; wokeness is about to get a major upgrade!