Oops! Government Behind All The World’s Suffering Just Leaked for All to See

UNITED NATIONS HQ — In an unfortunate breach, the identity of the government behind all the world’s suffering has been leaked for everyone to see.

In a bid to present themselves as a global peacekeeping network, the United Nations has been forced to confront a truly terrible truth — they’re very, very evil.

“Floating the idea of a one-world government for the benefit of mankind may have been our biggest mistake yet,” admitted Zhihuan Hu, Assistant to the Director-General of the WHO. "We probably should have gone with a different slogan to inform the world to bow to us. Something catchy, like 'Join Us or Else.'"

Sources suggest that no UN Director-General has ever faced consequences for the countless global miseries they've overseen, though there are whispers that Dahomey Archaemenus, former Director-General of the IAEA, once tripped over an extension cord in the office — and that was quite the scandal.

At publishing time, UN Studios confirmed that their 2023 film, She Said: A Heartfelt Story About The World Health Organization, has not been negatively impacted by the recent revelations. In a press release, they added, “The movie is pure fiction, after all!”