NSA Excited To Finally Use Its Years Of Domestic Spying Experience To Bring Down Trump

FORT MEADE, MD — According to insiders, scientists and engineers at the National Security Agency have been chomping at the bit to use their vast experience in domestic electronic surveillance to take down Trump now that the Biden administration has asked them to help.

"This is what we've been waiting for," said analyst Trevor Yancy. "We've spent years honing our craft by conducting illegal surveillance on American citizens. We never dreamed of a day when we'd have the opportunity to use our skills to take down a top political enemy on behalf of those in power. It's all so exciting!"

While the agency's official role is to gather intelligence on foreign targets, they have, under the Biden administration, begun monitoring Trump associates in order to gather information to be used to put the former president in prison.

"For the first time, we have a chance to weaponize our surveillance against a political enemy," said SIGINT Metadata Inter-Analytic Team Lead David Gresham. "But to be really good at spying on Americans takes practice. I thank God every day for the deep state within the State Department, Military, Justice System, Media, academia, and science that give us the funding and freedom needed to hone our skills on American citizens. Without them, we'd never be in a position to help bring down Donald Trump."

"Now to trap Trump in a tangled web of controversial rhetoric and contradictions! I'm sure he'll never see it coming."

At publishing time, the Republican-led House had started an investigation into the NSA for spying on Americans through Xbox game systems but, being part of the deep state, the NSA was not expecting any repercussions.