NSA Denies It Able To Determine If AirPods Are Ringing Or Just Sleeping

EVERWHERE — After yet another Nigerian prince phone scam attempt was successfully rejected by an AirPods owner's unreliability to determine if the AirPods were sleeping or ringing, the NSA has admitted the nation's security apparatus is unable to solve this cruel problem.

"We do have the unrivaled technological ability to record and access every phone call and text message ever made or sent in the U.S., but determining whether an airpod is asleep or ringing is beyond our capabilities," said the NSA in a public admission. "As of now, this unsolvable problem continues to thwart our efforts to rid the world of phone scams."

Sources at the NSA confirm they have been working diligently for years to find a solution to the AirPods Morass, although results have been frustratingly elusive. "Unfortunately using an Apple Watch to ping a phone call you can't hear in order to find out if a set of AirPods is sleeping or ringing only works 30% of the time, which is frustrating for all involved," said spokesperson Johnny Trapp. "687 billion phone calls later, we're no closer to a solution. This is a real thorn in our side."

At publishing time, no one knew what was going on with theMacbook.