Now You’re Thinking Directly In Chinese!

U.S. — A new study has revealed that White people are now thinking directly in Chinese, leaving experts both baffled and bemused.

"They've ventured so deep into leftist propaganda that they don't even bother translating it to English anymore—they just process their thoughts in Chinese straight from the CCP!" exclaimed one of the researchers involved in the study.

The research team traced the origins of this phenomenon back to the late Bush administration, when White people began communicating in a sort of broken English—a mix of translated Chinese talking points promoting support for China while simultaneously undermining the United States through climate change legislation and the like.

But now, they've graduated to thinking in proper Chinese, much to the delight of the intellectuals who conducted the study.

At publishing time, reports indicated that particularly bold bald White men have taken the leap forward, allowing themselves to be so completely indoctrinated that they now operate purely on Chinese thought—an intellectual level far beyond language entirely.

Experts predict this trend might create the world's first cohort of people proficient in 'pure thought'—but they still struggle to navigate a basic menu at their favorite Chinese restaurant.