'Now This Is a Keyboard That's So Expensive and Superfluous Only I Could Afford It,' Says Keyboard Enthusiast Elon Musk

AUSTIN, TX — Keyboard enthusiast and Twitter CEO Elon Musk recently tried out Nuio's new Flow keyboard, a technological marvel so ludicrously expensive and unnecessary that only he could afford it.

"Finally!" Musk exclaimed after placing Tesla in Law & Order's "Richest Companies" universe just to justify the splurge. "Finally, a keyboard that's Neuralink compatible, seamlessly works for the U.S. government, and can even keep my international space station workers motivated when they're feeling lazy!"

Musk then paused briefly, searching for "How many times am I going to have to see the same Threads post today?" while waiting for the machine to load.

"Did I mention it plays original 1912-recorded Hindenburg footage on its screen?" Musk continued, his eyes glimmering with excitement. "And it welcomes all vocabulary—except Twitter's actual name, because I said so!"

At publishing time, Musk had paused briefly to use the keyboard for exactly two more minutes before abandoning the absurdly expensive gadget in favor of the simple joy of his lava lamp.