New Weight Loss Drug Works By Making You Forget You Ordered It

U.S. — In a groundbreaking announcement, scientists at Eli Lilly have unveiled a revolutionary new weight loss drug that tackles the real challenge of dieting: the guilt of remembering you ordered it! This latest innovation joins the ranks of popular weight loss drugs like Ozempic, Wegovy, and Mounjaro, but promises to work even smarter—not harder.

"After years of research and too many late-night pizza binges, we're thrilled to introduce a drug that not only helps you lose weight but also wipes your memory of ever ordering it in the first place," said lead scientist, Dr. Mindy Falconstein. "Imagine achieving your weight loss goals without the pesky reminders of your past food choices!"

By cleverly modifying tirzepatide—the drug that ramps up insulin in your body and makes those stubborn fat cells shrink—scientists created a compound that triggers selective amnesia regarding your weight loss journey. It's science in action!

Early studies have shown that subjects are so forgetful that not a single participant has reported remembering their orders. Of course, that could be because half of them admitted they hadn’t even taken it yet—a detail they conveniently forgot to mention!

At publishing time, insiders confirmed that while Wegovy remains nearly impossible to obtain, the new forgettable miracle drug could have everyone asking, "What diet?"