Musk Bonus: Join 15 Friends and Get a Free CryoPod Treatment!

AUSTIN, TX — In a shockingly outrageous announcement, Elon Musk has unveiled a new incentive for beta testers of Neuralink: anyone who manages to recruit 15 additional testers will receive an entire CryoPod treatment package for free! This life-extending bonus saves each participant a staggering $3,874,000.

"That's right! Refer just 15 new friends, and—BOOM—you could have your very own CryoPod at a remote facility in Nebraska, preserving your frozen corpse for the next 150 years! All for the price of one Neuralink!" Musk exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement.

Experts agree that this is a deal beta testers simply can't refuse. "Neuralinks are projected to cost about $100,000 each once they hit the market, and a CryoPod setup will likely run into the millions," said tech blogger Roe Jogan. "That’s roughly $15 million worth of cutting-edge technology for the nominal fee of helping one of the world's richest men expand his empire. What a steal!"

While some beta testers expressed disappointment that referring 15 friends would net them a CryoPod instead of a Tesla or even a tranquil chat with Mr. Musk, enthusiasm quickly regained control. "Hooray! The promise of a future!" declared 100% of the participants contacted.

At publishing time, Musk teased yet another jaw-dropping offer: anyone who creates a theme park that generates residual income through selling dirt, tobacco, and 'biological playlists' could gain access to seven Teslas, $5,000,000 in gift cards, and even his sons, all while raking in a cool $800,000 a year. How cool is that?