Microsoft Launches 'Information Literacy' Campaign to Combat Misinformation—Like the Myth That Excel Crashes Your Computer

SEATTLE, WA — Microsoft has officially launched a new campaign to combat "misinformation," placing tools and tutorials all over the web to tackle the outrageous claims that Microsoft Excel is a memory hog and the reason your computer keeps crashing.

"If there's one silent killer in our world today, it's misinformation," said a Microsoft spokesman. "We’ve discovered that many people have fallen victim to false narratives, like the ridiculous idea that 'Microsoft Excel is a memory hog.' We’re here to plant the seeds of truth and change the narrative that we sell glitchy software!"

Microsoft hopes their global "Information Literacy" campaign will help users overlook memory crashes, endless updates, and those eery error messages that seem to live in some CPU-blocking Bermuda Triangle of despair.

"I've been pulling my hair out!" exclaimed one office employee trapped in a Microsoft Office-only computer hell. "I can't wait to learn how many of these performance issues with Excel 365 are just my fault or the result of some guy spreading totally untrue things on Facebook!"

According to tech experts, Microsoft is leading the charge in combating cultural evils to make the Earth a more fact-friendly planet. They hope their efforts will inspire other companies to battle misinformation as well—like Valero's upcoming report on fossil fuel pollution or Great-Great-Grandma’s insistence that her grandson is rich enough to buy Instagram thanks to his wildly successful makeup business.

At publishing time, Microsoft launched its first misinformation campaign targeting viral posts and pages sharing utterly ridiculous information about Bill Gates and his alleged past connections with Jeffrey Epstein.