Microsoft Announces New Game Where You Run Software Giant's Entire Business

REDMOND, WA - In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft revealed a new game in the Xbox Simulator series, where players run the company's entire gaming division. The game, entitled Xbox Simulator: Phil's Adventure, gives gamers the opportunity to experience what it's like to be Phil Spencer, head of gaming at Microsoft.

"Get ready to experience all the thrills and spills of overseeing Microsoft's gaming empire," said Spencer in a press conference announcing the new game. "Do you release beloved, exclusive titles on competing consoles, or keep them hostage on Xbox forever? The choice is yours!"

The game reportedly includes several different levels where players must make important decisions about the future of Xbox. Players can choose to greenlight new, non-Xbox versions of Minecraft, answer emails from fans asking why they can't play Halo on PlayStation, and even walk the floor at E3 to scout which third-party games Microsoft will buy next and make available on all platforms.

"Your decisions will have consequences," said Spencer. "Neglect Game Pass marketing for a week and watch as subscriber numbers plummet. Spend too much time in the Steam section of your local Best Buy and risk losing your wife's favorite Kinect game, Dance Central, forever. It's an immersive experience that lets you live the life of me, the most powerful man in gaming."

At publishing time, a special DLC pack had been announced that lets players control Satya Nadella as he contemplates making Office exclusive to the PlayStation.