Microsoft And Sony Release Console Exclusives

U.S. — As what could be the most anticipated gaming week of the entire year, Microsoft and Sony are sprucing up their new console exclusives in spectacular fashion.

At times appearing to be lagging behind Playstation, Microsoft caught scores of gamers by surprise, announcing its new exclusive, Windows, which can run all computer games made, and also offers a compliment of programs gamers typically need like Excel and PowerPoint.

"Where Playstation has taken a gamble by announcing yet another superhero game, we believe our new operating system, Windows, can leap over tall buildings with just one click of a mouse," said an XBox spokesperson.

Sony surmised it could outperform Microsoft by simply adding an "e" to its previous SpiderMan video game. "We believe this can maximize our shareholder's profits, as we were able to reuse the current game engine, textures, and even that theme song from that High School musical thing," said Amy Pascal, co-chairperson of Sony Pictures.

"But in our hearts we know that the regular Marvel fans who are just excited to see a realistic movie featuring someone named SpiderMan craves as little change as possible, outside of collecting weapons and cosmetics from a shop," she added.

At publishing time, experts said that it's possible that both console exclusives can peacefully co-exist because they appeal to two different types of fan: Husband and wife.