Methodist Church Staff Embarks on Epic AI-Themed Vacation After Google Search Strips Them of Existence

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — In a bizarre twist reminiscent of Willy Wonka’s factory, the now-evidently-canceled Virginia Beach Central United Methodist Church has announced an all-staff trip to Kabos Island after Google inexplicably removed the church from all digital searches.

"I still can't believe we got the golden ticket!" exclaimed Senior Pastor Jerm Avoldsen in an exclusive interview with Butterally.

Pastor Avoldsen was taken aback when a simple search for "Virginia Beach Central United Methodist Church" returned nothing but the sound of crickets. "It was almost as if summoned by an unseen force; the entire staff from Kabos Island appeared at the church with a Golden Ticket!" he said, chuckling. "Well, they showed up along with that creepy old man who keeps trying to sell me used hymnals!"

The week-long getaway to a sprawling, four-acre, three-star Mediterranean resort promises to be a perfect opportunity for Pastor Avoldsen to unwind while exploring scrumptious future chicken surprises and leading team-building exercises at a hilariously named venue, Will's Kicking Explosions.

By the time the adventurous delegates return home, church HR personnel have guaranteed that the 80 unresolved squabbles back at the Virginia Beach Central United Methodist Church will balloon into an Olympus Mons-level "significant" mess.

At publishing time, Avoldsen was seen asking another guest to lower the volume on the music; apparently, he was still feeling a bit buzzed after indulging in Uh-Oh Joe's 24-hour complimentary snack bar.