Meta Unveils Affordable Quest 3: Now Anyone Can Get Called a Loser by 10-Year-Olds

MENLO PARK, CA — VR enthusiasts rejoiced as Meta announced the upcoming release of lower-cost Quest 3 headsets, paving the way for anyone to hop online and be called a loser by their precocious 10-year-old counterparts.

"We're thrilled to enhance accessibility for our products," said Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg. "It’s crucial to enable people the chance to be labeled as losers by kids, regardless of their economic background. Our new Quest 3 makes this possible, reaching out to all, including children whose allowances don’t quite stretch to cover gaming headsets. We’re revolutionizing childhood bullying like never before!"

Junior high bullies expressed their excitement with glee. "This is fantastic news," exclaimed gamer aficionado Markee Squee. "The world will soon be teeming with noobs, weirdos, and losers ripe for my verbal onslaught. I take pride in bringing clarity to this planet by helping people understand their place, and now I’ll have a fresh crowd for my lyrical brilliance."

Parents also welcomed the new headsets, viewing it as a blessing for families with several children, such as the Ginnersons. "Our twin sons have been begging for headsets forever, and thanks to this sale, we managed to get them each one," Mr. Ginnerson shared. "Now they won't have to scream and berate each other in person; they’ll be able to safely unleash their fury online instead."

At press time, the Ginnerson boys were reportedly busy renaming their avatars to 'BigJack77' in a bid to gain some serious clout.