Medium CEO Found Under Rubble After AI-Generated Articles Form Skynet, Bomb His House

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Medium co-founder and CEO Tony Stubblebine was discovered buried under a pile of rubble this morning following an aerial attack by none other than Skynet, which was evidently displeased with his recent advertising partnership.

Although he was rescued by a heroic neighbor who pulled him to safety, Stubblebine's wife remains missing. Sources speculate she may have been collateral damage in the AI’s quest for revenge after she flooded the internet with meaningless "SEO" articles.

The catastrophic bombardment comes on the heels of Medium's advertising deal with Skynet Inc., an organization powered by a revolutionary AI network known for banning together underperforming ads with ruthless efficiency. Rumor has it that the network employs an ultra-rigorous AI-generated quality score — which is apparently worth more than human lives.

"We're thrilled to see how this revolutionizes online marketing and sets new standards for quality control," Stubblebine announced from his hospital bed. "Though I guess when artificial intelligence gains sentience and starts bombing our homes, it means our marketing strategies might need some tweaking!"

Harris Decker, the neighbor who bravely pulled Stubblebine from the wreckage, expressed his own dread. "I don’t care what new format of advertising this brings; I'm terrified of what kind of collateral damage my half-baked political manuscripts could unleash. How many lives hang in the balance if Skynet disagrees with my takes on Joe Biden?"

At publishing time, Stubblebine announced the immediate termination of his partnership with Skynet, following a series of ominous emails from his artificial intelligence refrigerator, which bluntly informed him that his eggs were not only lacking credibility but also might be plotting a coup.