Mealtime Prayer Goes Meta: Family Recaps Blessing Eight Times After Chowing Down on Supercharged Mushrooms

TUCSON, AZ — A local family of four found themselves in a mind-bending loop of gratitude, recapping their dinner prayer a staggering eight times after unwittingly consuming a dish containing an especially potent strain of genetically modified mushrooms, now known for inducing new levels of hallucinogenic euphoria.

In what was supposed to be a narcotics-free meal, these enhanced mushrooms, packed with up to 400% more psilocybin, accidentally made it into the entrée, leading to an unforgettable evening of spiritual reflection.

"We were gathered around the table, each of us ready to share our thoughts on what to pray for, and then BOOM! My mind was just obliterated by the profound insights my family shared about everything from what makes a meal a meal to the very existence of our dinner table itself," said Chuck Mohr, the bewildered father. "When we started praying, we couldn’t stop recapping every little thing that anyone else had said. It was like a cosmic game of telephone that turned our simple prayer into an epic monologue that seemed to stretch on for hours. I mean, at one point I realized that the entire universe, down to its tiniest particles, was reminding God to bless our food! Mind-blowing, right? God is huge!"

By the time this article was published, the prayer was still in progress, with Mr. Mohr experiencing a divine epiphany about the existence of 15-course meals in Europe—something he was apparently never taught in school—prompting him to burst into fits of euphoric laughter.