Math Experts Reverse History, Strip Fields Medal From Timothy Gowers

Simons Foundation — In conjunction with a group of top mathematicians, The Fields Medal committee recently convened and made the historic decision to strip former famed mathematician Timothy Gowers of the Fields Medal.

James Leng, Ashwin Sah, and Mehtaab Sawhney recently improved upon Mr. Gowers' work, thus making his accomplishments worthless.

"We have no choice but to strip Mr. Gowers of his Fields Medal," said renowned Oxford University mathematician Ben Green. "What kind of message would we be sending to other mathematicians if we allowed someone to keep their Fields Medal after their work was improved upon? The decision is obvious. He must be stopped."

Experts were able to reverse time in 1998 and place the Fields Medal around the neck of 3-year-old James Leng instead, while Ashwin Sah and Mehtaab Sawhney sat nearby in their diapers.

At publishing time, William Timothy Gowers had withstood multiple attempts on his life over several timelines, proving his abilities as a mathematician may not have been diminished after all.