Massachusetts Family Unsure Whether $4,000 iPhone Pro, $15,000 MacBook, Or $1,100 AirPods Will Fit Their Budget

LEOMINSTER, MA — With Apple announcing new and exciting products Tuesday, the local Neiditz family was left trying to decide whether to spring for a $4,000 iPhone Pro, a $15,000 MacBook, or a $1,100 set of AirPods.

"We were hoping this might be the year Apple doesn't release irresistible necessities that cost thousands of dollars," stated mother of 4, Chelsea Niedtiz. "But dangit, I don't know if I can let go of the new iPhone pros. The colors are so cool looking. I heard it even lets you send a text and call people. And then there's the face looky thing on it. I mean wow!"

The Neiditz family has been a loyal Apple family since 2011 when Tom Hoefield convinced Kevin to switch away from his company-paid-for Samsung touch screen phone. "I remember thinking to myself, Ahhh, I didn't know I was so unhappy till now!" stated Kevin Neiditz, confidence manager for Vertex Pharmaceuticals Inc. "Oh my gosh, listen to this family, the new laptop has audio! That's amazing! I know our budget only allows for one snack break a week and no trips out for another two years, but can we really expect any self-respecting family to not have an Apple? No, for our children's sake, no!"

At publishing time, the Nieditz family had decided to only buy the iPhones 16 Pro so they'd have money left over to buy actual plaster-like Band-Aids instead of the ones that keep falling off this winter.