Mark Zuckerberg Unveils New Augmented Reality Glasses That Bring the Bible to Life

MENLO PARK, CA — In a groundbreaking demonstration of Meta's new ‘augmented reality’ glasses, CEO Mark Zuckerberg showcased how the device can literally bring Scripture to life, complete with stunning visual effects that impressed the audience.

“It is incredible,” Zuckerberg exclaimed. “These glasses truly enhance your experience when you're reading the Bible.”

The unveiling revealed Bible-reading glasses that surround the wearer with awe-inspiring imagery, automatically turn pages, feature blacked-out coincidences in the text, and even monitor heart rate and body temperature to determine if you’re bored.

However, some developers flagged issues with the design. “For some inexplicable reason, the glasses randomly switch Bible translations in the middle of a reading,” reported one reviewer. “And I have to say, they're a bit heavy.”

At publishing time, Zuckerberg, basking in the glory of what he called the most advanced human invention in history, reminded everyone that he is just a vessel. "Thus shall ye say," Zuckerberg proclaimed dramatically, "to thy neighbor and to thy brother, What hath God said – and what doth it mean?"