Man Returns To Work Following Paternity Leave, Hopes Job Still Exists

HARTFORD, CT — After two months of bonding with his newborn and allowing the child's mother to recover, local man Hugh Gelfson returned to work, nervously hoping his job was still there.

The father of little Tommy Gelfson, born on July 15, Gelfson took advantage of Family Medical Leave Act provisions allowing fathers to take six weeks off after a child's birth. He then entered a brief stint of paid paternity leave that lasted until Monday when he dutifully returned to Pinnacle Financial's Hartford office.

"Hi Mr. Gelfson! Welcome back! So glad I ran into you!" said Gelfson's office buddy Tyler Graham, startling the returning employee with the surprise greeting. "I was afraid you’d never come back! You know, after a man takes off more than ten weeks from work these days—especially ten weeks of paternity leave—some people think... well, you know. Never mind! So glad you're back! How was your 'paternity' leave?"

"Well," said Gelfson, inwardly bracing for Graham’s inevitable commentary on his time away from work. "It was great! I got to know my son really well, just being there for my wife. You know how it is, right?"

Graham leaned in close and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "You don’t have to make excuses. I completely understand. You're a man with a serious problem. It's nothing to be ashamed of! I've been there—maybe not for ten weeks like you, but I can relate. Just wanted you to know you didn’t have to come back if you didn’t want to. No one would judge you!"

Gelfson furrowed his brow. "What do you mean by a serious problem?"

Graham glanced around the café, leaned even closer, and whispered, "I'll be frank: I think people who take that much paternity leave should be scrutinized and audited, you know? Sorry you had to deal with that awkwardness of coming back! I know it was a tough decision for you to return after ten weeks. Uh, not that I’d call it a leave! You know what I mean! Anyway, welcome back!"

Meanwhile, at the Pinnacle office, HR personnel eyed the suddenly resurfacing Gelfson with suspicion. "Uh, let me check your employee record to see if you're still with the company," said Manager Angela Meyer. "On paternity leave... that means paid six weeks off… and unpaid leave for three weeks after that… Wow! You sure took a lot of time off! Sorry, you're no longer employed here. But thanks for stopping in!"

At publishing time, Hugh Gelfson had managed to get his job back after unexpectedly bumping into an old co-worker at the mall who assured him there were still "twelve sections of cubicles dedicated to desks where workers had on-and-off workloads" in the office.